Tuesday, February 24, 2004

and so it begins...

...when summer is about to end; my summer has been a little empty in the old friends department since some of them have been travelling overseas. And while I may attribute my bouts of insomnia to the hot weather, in reality it's this constant whispering in my head that as one by one my dear chums straggle back to melbourne, the dynamics of our friendships will have altered slightly. The one that disturbs me the most is one of my dearest friends who returns after six months from a student exchange in England. We've known each other since we were 13, and been with each other through all the struggles of adolescence. At uni together we've been through the boozing, parties and this whole new world of socialising and networking that it brings. Our relationship is rather complicated; having similar lives and having a common network of friends there are consequently slivers of competitiveness and traces of envy and lonliness when one of us decides to head off into uncharted territory without the other. My friend is the one that bolts forward as I trot along at a more contented pace, but we've always remained within each others sight. I'm afraid that she's outgrown me, or has become something that I've never know could be part of her. It is very naive for me to ever wish that we would have continued to have all our major experiences in each others presence. But the fact remains that the wish still lingers, and I don't know how to get rid of it.